This is another point where I wish I could get a little feedback. But I will continue to strive to keep this blog buried in the depths of cyberspace.
Here's the deal:
I haven't looked at porn in a while. This is going to sound weird, and I'm sorry that this post will contain too much information and may cause awkward shifting. So yeah, I hadn't looked at porn in a while-- like a month or more. I was kind of wondering what was wrong with me, so I decided to check it out yesterday. It did absolutely nothing for me, if you know what I mean. It was actually kind of gross.
...
Now if that could be coupled with a magical attraction to girls, life would be complete... and so would this blog. But I'm not. But I'm also not not. uh, you know what I mean.
What the heck is wrong with me? I tried to check it out again this morning, and it was the same thing-- I was grossed out. Maybe I'm just recognizing it for what it is. Like I wrote in the first post, the thought of having sex with a guy seems kind of sick. But what I am (well, "was" for the time being) attracted to was the masculinity. Sounds gay (lame, I mean), I know.
I had a pretty fun date last night, too.
Do people have "off" times with their sexuality? I mean, am I just at a different level on the roller coaster?
I guess I remember reading something about that "Kinsey" scale or whatever it was-- 6 being exclusively homosexual and 0 being exclusively heterosexual. But I almost feel "exclusively asexual" which would be the worst possible scenario. It isn't my diet, I'm not depressed, I exercise, I'm not overly-stressed. In fact, I feel happier with myself and my life than I have in a while... not that i was particularly unhappy with it to begin with.
So there you have it. Why am I suddenly not attracted to guys? Well, I feel the beginnings of an attraction to girls which is better than I can say for guys right now, so maybe I'll go with that.
By the way, it is a good sign when my pandora stations finally start to play all songs that I like.
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