He's coming back for the weekend...
uh...
I'd be lying if I didn't say I am ridiculously excited. I am. I can just feel it pulling at my heart, you know? yanking it around and everything. This is not stability. This is a weird, emotional roller coaster-- the kind that makes you really queasy, where you get off and don't remember what direction you're facing. Stability doesn't do that to you. It also doesn't make you feel this good. Maybe this will help soften the whole thing for me, though. I made it a week... granted, we've been texting and talking on the phone, but still made it. Maybe this'll be a boost to get me through a long time? Or maybe I just won't have to go a long time?
We'll see. Tomorrow. I'm excited.
And I will be on my way home exactly seven days from now. I will be so happy to see my family, sleep in a big bed, drink organic chocolate milk-- a beverage even more heavenly than the BYU creamery's. I'm excited to gain weight, start swimming, run a marathon... I think I may have to wait until after the marathon to gain weight...
But I need a list of things to do. No job and staying at home all day might be grounds for suicide, even though I love my family to death. It's just that they all work, so I would be killing myself somewhere between 8 and 5. So yeah, I'm trying to come up with things to fill my time. I'm going to shadow a doctor, help my sister relaunch her web company, translate at health clinics, do landscaping for my mom's and dad's houses. Oh yeah, and I'm teaching music lessons (and how can you not feel cool doing that?)... nothing brings back memories like kids getting ready for all-state auditions.
So there you have it, a summer full of fulfilling activities. And since I don't have a "history" in the "gay mormon" kinda way back home, it won't be on my mind so much. It never is when I'm there. Maybe that's why I want to go back home once I'm finished with school... maybe that's why I want to finish school as soon as possible. My family wants me to go to med school. Maybe they're right, but I spend a lot of time feeling like I should just get out of here. I looked at transferring schools, but the business school is excellent here, and I'd be at a huge disadvantage to either transfer to another good school and lack prerequisites or go to a not-so-good school.
Anyway, the term is ending. One more day left of classes. I was getting five hours of sleep a night for the past four or five days, and it was killing me. Almost all big projects and tests are finished... just need to hold out a few more days.
I have butterflies in my stomach. This is so gay. But I can't wait for tomorrow.
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