Saturday, March 14, 2009

Awake

I'm sorry my blog has gotten so homo. 
Can I just tell you what I want?
As of right now, I think I want to be gay... but my sexuality isn't necessarily permanent, as I've apparently realized in this blog. I think it is because what I really want is independent of gender. If this guy is it (and the fact that I could actually see it has pushed me this way), then this is the life I'm going to live because it is the life that will allow me to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with who I am and what I'm doing.
Don't worry-- I haven't made the whole thing between the two of us a lot more serious or pushed it further than what it should be. I just believe in being frank.
What I want:

1. Someone that won't leave me. I'm loyal, and I want the same.
2. Someone that can look me in the eye, tell me it will be ok, and have me believe them.
3. Someone that makes me feel good for who I am.

Yes, I'd like them to be attractive. I mean, I'm not an ugly guy. I like to think of myself as a strong six :)-- I won't knock your socks off, but I can hold my own. I also take care of my body. The other stuff is nice, but those three things are crucial. I realize that those things aren't gender-specific. I guess that, in a way, I look for more "masculine" affirmation which is gender-specific, but I don't know if that's going to make or break the deal.
I have no idea what inspired me to divulge that... but hey, between those two lines from that death cab for cutie song and these three things, you now have all of the information that you need to completely win me over.

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