I've just gotta write so I can get this off my chest. This kid is super perplexing, and he's in half of my classes. And what do I make of it? He isn't. He can't be. But it drives me so freakin crazy because I just want not to have a reason to wonder--for heaven's sake, put me out of my misery. Make it through the semester, then you won't have to worry about it.
I amaze myself with how stupid I am. I just need to get a grip. I just need to pull myself together. Even if he were, he's definitely out of my league by a very long shot... like very long. Thanks, by the way, for being here, little blog. You're the best little blog ever.
And I took a test yesterday while trying to function on a cumulative 12 hours of sleep from the past three days. Maybe other people can survive on that, but I sure can't. Anyway, the numbers all seemed to be moving around. I knew the stuff, but it is supposed to be tricky, and I apparently was in a trick-able mindset... so I'm hoping I land on the curve or just a little bit below it cuz my last test can save me, but still, come on! I'm kind of hoping to have a future.
2 more tests left. And thank goodness I realized that the weekend is coming so that I could make plans. I'm not too big on Halloween, but I love pumpkin pie and cider and really thick, rich hot chocolate and kolaches...
I also discovered that I'm risk-averse. You'll find me investing in only index funds and investment-grade bonds in the future.
And the fear about the future--I think I'm learning a little better to deal with it. There's something exhilarating about choosing and going, leaping, pushing ahead into the darkness.
And kid, you perplex me, and you don't even realize it. Just talk to me--tell me you aren't, that it's in my head.
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