And I inevitably make stupid mistakes. It gets a little bit annoying, predictable, frustrating. But the thing is, as I grow increasingly frustrated with myself for coming so far and then slipping, something excellent happens in my life.
I ace my tests, finish my homework early...
I don't really get it. I don't know if I should feel good or bad about it. I mean, on one hand, I could just be heaping condemnations on my head since there is no immediate retribution, just good, just reasons to appreciate my life.
The other part of me thinks that maybe I'm hard enough on myself or something.
Either way, I'm grateful for it.
Squealing tires, U-turn...
No connection, no connecting, but craving it. I need to learn. This kid- it probably isn't even anything, there's nothing there... just good and nice. Learn from your mistakes. Of course there's nothing to do about it-- what could be done? Circumstances are different, stakes are higher. Just see it for what it is; just don't lose your brain.
Ok, got that off my chest. I did 10 1/2 today... and four of those miles were pure hills... two were pure uphill. I took a loop and apparently chose the wrong direction to take it. But I like seeing the bikers and joggers. I like passing the bikers on the hills, and I like seeing other trail runners. It's hard not to feel some weird empathy or camaraderie or something. I'm also not getting snowed on, and that is always appreciated.
This morning (and keep in mind that I'm very confused when I'm waking up) I heard a bunch of pounding and yelling, lights were turning on, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then, my roommate comes in and says, "Wake up, (other roommate) is hurt." We go in there and the other roommate is talking to the 911 operator, and hurt roommate is having a seizure on the floor. Scary. The paramedics came, me and one other roommate went to go stay with him. It was so early, and I was so tired, and I had so much to get done today.
Then, my one project magically turned out right, got 100% (long story, but I got lucky) on a quiz that I didn't study for, had a hilarious time with my friends... the day started out so weird and ended up so good.
But back to "hurt" roommate. He's ok. They didn't find out what caused it, but people just randomly have a seizure sometime, so I'm glad that he's ok.
And that's the end of my post. I either need to go to bed or do homework, so good night.
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