I'm glad for the attack of conscience, the sorrow, the realization that I have a sincere desire to be different, to align my will with God's.
So, things have been going up over these past few days. In fact, things started improving shortly after I posted that. I realized that I want to live my life in a way that I can take pride in... I realize that I usually know what the "best" things are, to reference a talk that grew cliche from the millions of references made to it following that conference. Anyway, I feel different when I go to bed with the knowledge that I did what I was supposed to... the best things, the most meaningful...
Does that even make sense?
Regardless, I've felt better about my life, I've felt my confidence waxing stronger, as the scripture goes. There are still the temptations, the perplexities (like nice kid, for example, who is still really nice and confusing), but things feel different. Granted, there will be inevitable highs (one of which I may be currently experiencing) and lows, but I'm glad that I still at least feel highs like this.
And class, my future... I'm pretty stubborn and independent, but there arrives points in time when I can't do something, when there's too much or not enough. The amazing thing is that those times magically work out. I'm still exhausted, but impossible situations suddenly become possible, solutions or doors manifest themselves.
I'm glad, and I'm grateful.
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