I guess it hasn't been much longer than a week, but it still felt like a long time to me. Things were kinda hectic there for a while, and I haven't had a reliable internet connection since I left home...
Where to start?
I stopped and met up with the guy on my way out. That was a bad choice, but I missed him a lot. It certainly didn't help me like him less. He's a really good guy. Anyway, we probably won't be seeing each other on a regular basis because he's far away.
It's just completely unique and amazing to spend time with someone you love, someone who loves you. Life seems to slow down, enjoy itself more. The world treats you differently, better. You connect-- what you find yourself trying to do every day. You connect with someone on such a level and to such an extent that you feel safe, you feel home. Everything else suddenly seems less important, more manageable.
So to tell you that I haven't slipped or faltered in my resolve would be a lie. It would be a lie because this reaches to my core, elicits emotions that are real, terrifying, and completely undeniable. Real because I feel myself functioning on a more sincere level. Terrifying because they conflict with what I'm trying to fight for. Undeniable because they are so deeply woven that I couldn't deny them without denying everything else about me.
I can go on. I can do this. I just wish I didn't have to.
Arduous, right? That's what it is.
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