Where We Gonna Go From Here

I heard from the guy, again. I'm not so mad anymore at him. Granted, there are definitely no feelings for him, but at least I don't feel mad when he texts or calls or e-mails. Maybe I can change, after all. It's strange how I was completely convinced that I would never be over him. I guess I still love the guy, but in a platonic way, you know? Does that even make sense? It sounds kinda like the cliché "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" thing, but I mean it.

Anyway, I don't think that was the reason I got on here. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what the reason was. I guess I just wanted to get my thoughts out of my head. I helped my parents plant a bunch of crap tonight. Coming home from work and doing yardwork may sound kinda crappy, but I actually enjoy the change from sitting at my desk. And I don't want to become a lazy sack.

The yard has been under construction for the past year, and it's about time to finish all of these projects. I took off before I had the chance to see some of the projects to completion, and my dad started other ones, so I'm going to help pick them off, one by one, while I'm here.

And I found out I'll probably be making less money than I thought at work, but I can deal with it. It'll still be enough to pay my student loans twice over, so if I go gettin killed in any car accidents in the near future, at least my family won't be stuck paying off my loans.

My life has felt a lot more manageable lately. I got that test and everything out of the way, and now I just have to worry about waking up on time, you know? No looming deadlines that are going to permanently alter my future, nothing unpredictable in my schedule... It's really nice. Granted, I don't have much of a social life, but at least I have to talk to my family and people at work, so I'm not turning into an awkward recluse... I think...

But I'm rambling about nothing. I'm doing good. Really. I still sometimes wish I could snag a significant other, but I know that it isn't the right time; and, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to devote the time and attention that they'd deserve... unless they want to throw around 80-lbs blocks and dig holes and stuff. I can be confident that everything will turn out fine because everything has turned out fine up to this point.