Heartbreak World

It's so hard to post regularly without my own computer...

That's my excuse, and I'm stickin to it.

It's amazing how fast time goes by when you get in a routine. I can't believe that school was out for four months. I can't believe that the holidays really aren't that far away. It seems like we could get so much stuff done in a day when we were little kids. The summer felt like a year--each school year was separated by a huge chasm. And now? Now life seems to kind of blend together.

But it isn't a bad thing. Getting older has meant having the world shrink a bit, being exposed to different people and cultures and countries.

Anyway, I'm not really feeling that trip down nostalgic lane. I do have a funny story, though. You know how you "help" little kids pray by whispering what to say? We were at dinner the other day, and my sister was helping my niece (who is three) pray. "We're grateful for this food..."

Niece: "We're grateful for this food..."

Sister: "Please bless it-"

Niece: "Please bless it THAT IT CAN FLY!"

Hahahahaha. I couldn't stop laughing. She was so excited about flying food. Unfortunately, that prayer wasn't answered. I think it was from seeing Harry Potter.

And what else? I realized the other day that I need to relax about the whole getting out of shape thing. I use the phrase very loosely, as it means that I'm going from skinny/toned to mostly skinny but still kinda toned. Wanting to be in shape is not a problem, but sometimes I catch myself thinking that it's the only way that anyone is ever going to be interested in me. There is more to me than that. Granted, it's important to take care of your body and everything, but I need to get over unrealistic expectations.

I should try to get fat just to get myself over my looks. The problem is that I've made sincere efforts to do so in the past. The best I did was gain 20 lbs of muscle--not too shabby, right? I still wasn't fat... and then it all atrophied because I could not afford to eat that much when I was away at school.

Holy crap. You do not want to hear about that, I'm guessing.

Last thing--I met this girl through one of my friends at school. The three of us kinda talked and stuff... whatever. Anyways, he called me up the other day and was like, "Dude, this girl is way into you. She asked me what she had to do to help you be interested in her?"

How am I supposed to handle that? She was way cool--don't get me wrong. But it makes a super awkward situation because I'm not interested for a lot of reasons I don't want to explain to him... and then I have to try to act like I'm interested or flattered or something. I dunno. Or my the daughter of one of my mom's friends--my mom is like, "She's cute and tall..." And then I met her, and her voice sounded exactly like Violet's (that's her name, right?) in "The Incredibles." I wanted to jam a chopstick in my ear.

AND THEN, my home teachers wanted to set me up with their niece.

Holy hell, people! Give it a rest! I apparently can't date gay people (who I have a LOT better chance of being attracted to), so stepping outside of my gender of interest is probably too much of a stretch.

I just need to be single and reserved until I can take decisive actions without giving someone emotional whiplash. Granted, I think I'm doomed to be confusing and confused, fregado y fregando jaja--I just remembered that; but at least I can arrive at a time and place where the whiplash will be minimal, non-fatal... just the kind where you wake up the next morning with a stiff neck and maybe go to the chiropractor once or twice to get taken care of.

This blog is a horrible mess. You're the best for putting up with me. Don't worry--you're getting a generous amount of brownie points for reading this crap. And I'm not easy with my brownie points, so count yourself lucky.