If You See Kay

Well, blog, it has been a while, hasn't it?

What can I update you on? First, my laptop really is dead beyond resurrection, so I'm confined to parents' laptops and desktops... but I actually kind of like it. I mean, I can't use it as much, so I've actually started reading books more... doing other stuff... I guess... haha

There was a period of intense questioning there for a bit as to whether or not I was actually doing the best thing by being here. But everything has been working out excellently. Granted, I wasn't really looking forward to dropping money on a new laptop, but life goes on.

What am I trying to say? I've got a limited amount of time, and I'm trying to make it count. I think the pressure is making my brain shut down.

In the thick of it, it's kinda hard to trust in the fact that it's going to work out ok. Divine guidance, good luck, karma, whatever the hell it is is kinda hard to trust in... but I can trust in the fact that I've made it work up to this point, that even the crappiest situations can open doors to opportunities and experiences and blessings that I wouldn't have expected.

What I'm trying to get at is that I think I need to place more importance on my ability to survive and improve than on the alignment of stars and guidance of divine hands... no, I don't read my horoscope, but you get the point that I'm trying to make.

Or maybe not.

I just can't write when I feel rushed.

The important thing was that I pushed past what I was comfortable with and, in doing so, found that my 'limit' extends beyond what I thought myself capable of, that I did my best to make the best of a situation that I had questions about. And, as it turns out, the best that I did was better than what I was expecting.