He's not. I just gotta get it out of my head. People can be so confusing, can give such mixed signals... and I definitely don't exclude myself from that.
"Signals are like nuts: mixed is better." If you know what the quote is from, we can be best friends.
I've got to take the energy and direct it towards something that's going to get me somewhere. Thing is, I'm going to end up at a time and place where I've got everything I want... except a connection. But this isn't the place to do it. But I'm also completely certain that I'm not into the gay scene, so where/when? It's the beginning of a cliché movie plot with the almost-cliché ssa twist.
It's my response: turn away from the emotion and throw myself into something else. If I work hard enough, I'll forget that I felt it. If I work hard enough, I'll accomplish something along the way that fills the gap temporarily, at least.
This post sounds more depressing than I feel. I guess I'm just kinda frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated for letting me get to this point without realizing--it happened so gradually.
Whatever. I'll be fine. I just have to talk myself through it, you know? I'm going to go throw myself into some school stuff and then go to bed--things seem to look better in the daylight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment