You Found Me

Where were you when everything was falling apart? When all my days were spent by the telephone? It never rang, and all I needed was a call. It never came to the corner of First and Amistad.


Lost and insecure. You found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait. Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late. You found me. You found me.


I like it. It's how I feel.

Against my better judgment, I'm on the internet when I should be sleeping. It's hard to feel really bad about it when I know tomorrow's Friday, but still...

Dear persistent guy:

I'm not sure how to handle this. I'm a lot more observant than I let on to, more careful than I'd like to admit... You're way more into this than me, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what I want, so it puts me in an interesting position. I don't know how to handle you--I don't know how to handle someone who is interested in me? It makes me nervous- why? Why do you feel this way about me?

And why don't I feel the same way for you? But I guess that's how it works sometimes...

What am I trying to get at? Maybe another one to save and not to post.

It's hard not to be suspicious when someone is interested in me. Like I've said before, you wouldn't have to put a paper bag over my head or something if we were hooking up, and I'm not schizo or something... I just feel ordinary, unassuming. And that's ok with me. In fact, I prefer it. As it turns out, attention makes me queasy.

So why? and I feel your expectations. I am destined to let you down in that regard.

This isn't supposed to be a downer for me or you, it's just that I am destined not to meet your expectations; and the higher they are, the more I pull away. I'm secretly terrified of disappointing people.

But let's say some nice things about me! First, I have a pretty damn good sense of humor. Well, good/offensive. Second, I am tall (but more on the average side), dark (except in the winter), and passably handsome. Third, I have a pretty good memory. Fourth, I'm a good cook. Fifth, my teeth are white, and I've got some pretty decent abs. Sixth, (and most importantly!) I'm humble.

Haha.

I saw one of my friends who I haven't seen in about six years. In some ways, it was really nice. In others, I didn't want to be there... I don't know why? I guess because I was afraid of it being awkward--we have the history, you know? But six years is a long time.

Also, I realized that the blinds on the window in my bathroom actually weren't obscuring your view of me... noticed that the fact that I could see clearly outside when I got out of the shower this morning meant that you could see me clearly from the street. Hope you enjoyed the show :).