Boston

I'm trying to decide if I want to publish this or not. I'm going to type it up to get it out of my head and quit being retarded.

You know that way you are with your guy friends? Or maybe just friends in general... I dunno... Anyways, there's this friend of mine that is super, super nice--like actually pays attention to what I say and remembers what is happening in my life and asks how tests and stuff are going... like more than my parents or siblings or anyone else, he remembers what's happening and takes an interest in it... you can see where this is going.

I am trying so friggin hard not to fall for the kid because I am positive that he is straight. It shouldn't matter because school is out, but it wasn't too soon for me to feel some kind of attachment. Now I'm just trying to talk myself down from my craziness.

Just enjoy people--I've thought a lot about that advice. And I'm trying hard not to fall, not to fall for this kid and end up being/doing something retarded for something that could never work. And I'd never wish it on this kid, either; so I can't feel sad that he's not. And I'm nowhere near him, anyways.

It's so stupid.

Anyway, I'm back home now. The more I come home, the more I realize that I'm ready to be on my own. Going to school out in Provo was an adventure. It was far away from my family, none of them had ever done it, I didn't know anyone else out there. It was kind of empowering to be there, to prove to myself that I could do it. I'm ready to experience that, again.

I actually feel a lot better. Thanks